Friday, October 31, 2008

Runaway Train--All Aboard!

The Three Not-So-Silent Ninjas

Our life is picking up speed and I can't seem to find the brake anywhere. I guess if I ever thought I was getting off this crazy train, I'd better think again. This week has been a complete whirlwind of scheduling, activities, and emotions.

As I shared, sweet Cooper passed away this week at just six weeks old due to complications recovering from his heart surgery. Not only was the loss hard to bear, but it delivered a great big dose of reality right to our front door. We'd planned for these boys to grow up comparing scars and making each other feel normal at family Christmas parties. The truth is Cooper's passing has reminded of realities we'd rather forget. We've become so used to our new "normal," and take for granted McKay and his routine of oxygen, aspirin, and the "no cry" rule, that we forget our concerns are not typical of most two month olds. In just a few weeks I've started to feel like this is the way it will always be~ no worries, no complaining, just our reality. But when we learned about Cooper and the events leading up to his passing, I was jarred into remembering that these kids turn on a dime.

Cassie shared some great victories she and Cooper experienced in his last week here. She was able to feed him a bottle, take a really amazing pictures of him smiling, and was finally allowed to dress him (a really big deal in the PICU because it means there are few enough lines to accommodate clothes and that usually means your on your way home). So how do you go from dressing your baby for the first time on Saturday to making life and death decisions for him 24 hours later?? Not fair.

Impressively, Cooper's mom and dad do not seem hung up on the fairness of it all. They had an amazing photo tribute to Cooper and offered such comfort to all who came to visit. And, honestly, I was doing fine until I came to displays of his personal things~ his blanket, his binky, the only outfit he ever wore; common things all things scattered around my house that suddenly seemed to evoke such reverence. Cassie was still just beaming next to Cooper, so proud of him. And he looked so free. No tubes. No lines. No struggle. And although I hope to never see a casket so small ever again, I must say that little Cooper touched so many lives in such a short time, you have to believe he was an angel on a very specific mission. What an honor to be his parents. We so admire you.

And as life does, it went on at our house. Costumes, candy, missed bedtimes and all. My boys are full of joy and noise...I mean life~what a gift! In addition to trunk-or-treats, neighborhood Halloween parties and more, we hosted our annual soup and sugar cookie night at our home and man did the frosting fly! Here are some fun pics of our week.

What is going on and why am I dressed like this?

The Crew! Our kid's fun neighbor friends.

What secret ninja plot could he be hatching in that chubby little noggin of his? The cheeks hold many clues...

Happy Birthday Grandma Sheri!!


Christina said...

This post about Cooper is so sweet. I know what you mean about having someone to grow up and compare scars with. My sister's son also has a heart defect and multiple open heart surgeries. So I have that same feeling about my son and his cousin.

I am so sorry for your entire family and the reality that hits home. I am glad Cooper's family was able to have some memorable days with him before his passing.

Happy Halloween!

Hugs & Prayers,
Momma to Jacob (TGA)

Lisanne said...

I was so sorry to read about Cooper. I need a box of kleenex everytime I read your blog. You have a way with words and it touches people. We hope things will continue going good for McKay. As always your family is in our prayers.

Jenny said...

I have never seen a cuter little Ninja than McKay. Tyler and Preston are pretty cute as well! Great idea for costumes.

I bet this week has been a little tough with the emotional roller coaster you have been on. Hang in there!

Jana said...
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Jana said...

I just love those Cox boys!! I love how sweet Mckay looks in his stroller!
Thank you for giving us all a reminder about how special the gift of life is. I know that I need to just slow down and enjoy the moment; and not rush to complete the next thing on my list!!

Kimi said...

I am just so impressed that you let McKay just enjoy everything. You guys haven't missed a beat and I think that is amazing. I loved seeing your cute little family on Halloween.

Kristi said...

Oh my word, I feel like my heart is being ripped out of my chest. I do not know how Cooper's parents, or you for that matter, do it. What a sweet little angel...