Good News, Bad News

We headed to Primary Children's this morning for McKay's first post-op check up. I have to say it was not the best of feelings to walk into that hospital again. I love/hate it there. It's a strange mix of emotions I'm sure will get more complex in the years and experiences to come.

The appointment started with a chest x-ray that McKay practically slept through. Then we headed in for an EKG, which he hated. They have to attach about 12 stickers with electrodes onto McKay's chest to perform the test. He hates stickers. I don't blame him as we are still working on getting all the sticky gum from his ICU stay off of his arms and legs. The test only takes about 5 minutes, but he screamed the entire time.

The technician started asking questions about McKay's oxygen saturation which was ringing in this morning at a lousy 65%. I told her that we were concerned as well as his spot checks continued to go lower over the past week. She immediately asked the docs about it and hooked McKay up to some O2.

Soon the doctors came in and agreed that McKay needs to be moved to 24/7 oxygen support. It seemed like good news to them as McKay now weighs in at a whopping 8 pounds 1.5 ounces and his lower oxygen levels are a first sign that he's already outgrowing his shunt. Seriously? It's only been 19 days since he got it! Their good news equaled one big, crappy reality check for me as it set in that we would be back to business fixing McKay's heart sooner than later.

So one phone call to the oxygen delivery company later and we're all set for weekly deliveries of air for our sweetheart. I know I should be glad that he's growing so big and strong...and I am. But it's such a bittersweet victory to do all you can to make sure your baby is thriving when you know the ultimate result of your efforts is another serious surgery and extended hospital stay. I just have to keep reminding myself that without going through this McKay will not live. It's just that black and white. It's even harder to remember that yucky reality now that we've had a chance to get to know this spunky little spirit a bit better. It's just that he looks so normal. Until you flip him over and see the big scar across his back you would never pick him out of a crowd (except for being so cute!).

Good news? McKay is growing. Bad news? McKay is growing and that means we will need to be vigilant about making sure his heart continues to do the job for him. We've been advised to make weekly appointments with our pediatrician so that he is seen regularly and frequently by a doctor who can monitor his condition in a more in depth way than we do. We'll check in monthly with the cardiology team as well.

McKay is truly a blessing in our home and as bummed out as we are about having to move from the spot we've just become comfortable in, that's the way the Lord works. Always moving forward. By the way, McKay is three weeks old today! Happy birthday Tiny Mac. Much love to all.