Saturday, January 3, 2009

Little Scare, Lotta Love

We just rolled in from another run to the pediatrician's office. McKay has started some minor internal bleeding. We noticed it in his stool late Thursday night and called the NP on call at Primary's. She said bringing him into the ER was more risky due to rampant RSV admits than waiting and just watching it to make sure it didn't continue or worsen; two days later it hasn't stopped.

Tonight his doc did a blood test and chest x-ray and all seems well on those fronts. At this point he's concerned his uber-frequent (2-3 bowel movements an hour) and sometimes bloody stools might be associated with profusion issues to his digestive tract. That means there's a complication that's developed that is causing the body to redirect blood from the digestive system to other parts of the body. It's not good. I say, NO! I am not doing this. He's been fine. He'll be fine.

Of course all of this may be what's contributing to McKay's worsening sleep patterns and my subsequent lack of clear thinking. Will there ever be a day when I don't worry about this baby? I mean a day without exhausting real, true, valid worries? I am feeling myself becoming a little too anxious when I'm not near him, checking on him a neurotic number of times, checking and double checking his meds. I am seriously not like this in the real world. I'm fun. I'm spontaneous. I'm so laid back people have actually commented on it. I'm so not me right now. I was really hoping for some trivial, normal baby weirdness tonight. Ughhh.

The plan is for his ped, cardiologist, and cardiothoracic surgeon to pow-wow on Monday. Somebody please come up with something! I know they will. Mac has amazing docs and when they get together, I'm sure they will figure this thing out.

In the meantime, it's my favorite angel, Anonymous, who keeps me hoping and praying for all things healthy and good. As has become a wonderful part of our life lately, another mini miracle dropped its anonymous little self off on our doorstep last night. I scooped up the festively wrapped package and brought it inside for closer inspection. I really didn't know what to say except, "People are really amazing; really so amazing." Sitting in front of us was a tangible, hold it, touch it, peruse it, flip through it, printed version of our entire 2008 blog. It was kind of amazing to behold. First because of its volume. Have I really written that much? And second because of its content. Have I really worked through all those emotions with all of you? Have you really put up with reading so much of our inside story? It was a volume to behold and it will become a treasure for our family for a long time to come. Thank you, thank you my little anonymous angel. I would love for you to reveal yourself so I can give you more than just a cyber hug. Consider it, okay?

So cross your fingers for McKay one more time won't you? Cross your fingers that this mystery trouble will pass and he will sleep and we can pretend we are normal again. Cross your fingers for that. No. On second thought, forget the fingers. Please kneel on your knees instead. Huge love to you all.

10 comments:

jaci said...

Just know that we are always praying for you and McKay, and our legs are crossed! I hope they find out exactly what is wrong, so your mind can ease a little bit. You are a wonderful mom and I think you are handling everything so well! It was so fun to be together last night. Thanks for hosting. We love to be with you guys, and the boys had a great time!
Keep us updated on McKay, if I can do anything please let me!
Love ya, Jaci

kto1s said...

Mindi-
Dang. I'm so sorry to hear about McKay's set back. There are no words, except we love you and continually keep you ALL in our prayers and thoughts! Hoping that Monday brings some concrete answers so that the motion can head forward...much love, Katie

Marshelle said...

Mindi,
I'm sorry to hear that your little angel is having some difficulties. Sounds like you have amazing doctors at work for him and that they'll work it all out. I can't even imagine the stress you are going through, but please know that there are tons of amazing people out there who are praying and thinking of you and the family. Please do keep the blog posts coming with updates. My toes, legs and fingers are crossed for great improvements for McKay. Hang in there and let me know if you need anything...I'm serious! Have a happy New Year!

brees said...

Wow! I would love for your blog angel to come forward also, I want to do that, I just don't know where to begin!

Now for little McKay, I am sure that the fear of the unknown causes sleepless nights and endless worry. We will be on our knees, praying for all of you.

Kristi said...

Serious prayers for the little guy tonight. Good luck tomorrow Mindi. I am sorry about the setback. It will get better, it will get better....

Lisanne said...

Mindi-
Shoot! I am sorry to read about McKay. We will keep him in our prayers and hope all goes well with his Docs tomorrow. You are amazing and we will pray for you too!
Lisanne

Hilary said...

We will keep McKay in our prayers! Have Faith and know You are in amazing hands. Much Love, Hilary Cook

Anonymous said...

Mindi,
Our thoughts and prayers are with you. We wish you peace.

Quinn's mom - Lynn

Anonymous said...

We love you all and will add some Extra little prayers for McKay. All our love, Cousin Natalie and Family

Anonymous said...

I am only one of the anonymous angels out there. There are more than one of us. Just enjoy it and know that you have a lot of support. You are a wonderful family and we hope that McKay is getting better. Stay strong and know that you are in our prayers.