Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Waxing Philosophical

"Hope begins in the dark, the stubborn hope that if you just show up and try to do the right thing, the dawn will come. You wait and watch and work; you don't give up."

I've been thinking a bit about hope lately. The nature of hope. The idea of hope. The why, what, and when of hope. When is it okay to hope? When is it foolish to hold onto it? This may turn into a bit of a ramble - but it's something I need to capture. I invite you to bear with me or don't -- this one is for me.

I'm certain hope is on my mind because 2010 has been a year of hope for our family. Hope for goodness in the unknown. Hope that we made the right decisions. Hope that tomorrow would come and the next day after that and we would all still be here to welcome it -- together.

Of course, we did not rely on hope alone. Hope is no substitute for preparation. You inform yourself, you research, you connect and confirm, and you pray. And when all that can be done is done, when all of the decisions that can be made are made, you invite hope to sit beside you and you take the journey. There is no avoiding the journey.

Hope was the fuel we relied on when we were running on empty. It filled us up and set us straight; hope offered direction and focus. Hope became the energy we took in and passed on to our family, our doctors, our children. It helped us to see beyond now to tomorrow, to better. Hope helped us create a vision we worked to realize. There is no avoiding the work.

Our every hope has not yet been realized. Our family still operates a degree or two east of normal, but we are here. Together. And in that there is hope. Our dreams and wishes and hope continue to invite possibility. Amazing, unexpected possibility.

Hope is light. And no matter how many shadows you must pass through to find the light, you walk because you have hope that it will be found. A wise and dear friend said, "Light and shadow bring depth into our being." I love that. I feel that. I aspire to understand that truth more fully. Indeed, if 2010 was a year to connect with and understand the power of hope, I walk into 2011 full of intention to invite light into every corner of my life. More light. Less shadow. I think that's how it works. And somehow I feel that although I cannot control the timing or depth of the shadows, I can control the light with which I meet them.

Vague - yes. Ethereal - probably. But that's the great thing about personal truths and growth - they are your own to ponder and understand. Your own. Embrace yours.


Emily said...

"Our family still operates a degree or two east of normal." I'd love to know the family that set the bar at "normal," because 2010 certainly taught me that the term "normal" is ever-changing, ever-evolving, sometimes at a very rapid speed. Our family undoubtably operates more than a few degrees east of normal these days. If there is one thing I get out of reading your blog (and honestly, I get a lot more than one thing), it is Hope. I have needed it terribly the past several months, and I am grateful to you, Matt, and McKay for living such a faithful, hopeful, inspiring life. You have definitely brought light into my life, and I thank you.

Here's to hoping that 2011 turns into a very chatty year for you and your little guy.

Kimberly said...

I love the way you write. You are amazing and inspiring. Thanks for sharing your wisdom with the rest of us.